The questions men don't ask out loud.

No, and if they did I'd have done it badly. I do slightly less rather than slightly more; you can always come back for more. People tend to say you look well rather than ask what you've had done.

Same chemistry, different finish. On women I finish polished, because that is usually what is wanted. On men I stop short of it and leave it natural: hair that sits inside your cut.

Done right, on hair that can take it, it doesn't wreck it. On a short cut, whatever it costs the hair is gone with your next few haircuts. Bleached or fragile hair changes the answer, and I'll tell you before anything's mixed.

No problem. I check your hair in the chair before I start. If it needs a different treatment, I do that one and you pay for what I actually did. If you paid more than it costs, I refund the difference; if it costs more, you pay the difference on the day.

Bring your laptop: most of my clients simply work from the chair. There's Wi-Fi and magazines, and something to eat Tuesday to Saturday. Or put the laptop away and talk to me: I'm bloody entertaining, and I'll fill you up with sarcasm.

No. I work alone: the person you book is the person who does your hair. When I’m running behind, an assistant may do your shampoo. Every other step is me.

You don't have to know. Tell me what your hair is doing. I choose the chemistry: on men that's Straightment Demi or Straightment Permanent to take curl and bulk out, or Wavement Cold to put texture in. You pay the men's price.

On the day, yes. Heat plus chemistry plus whatever's already in your hair. I work next to an open window and it clears.

Yes. Clippers don't care. Tell him what you've had done. I don't cut men's hair. Keep your barber, or if you need one, I can refer you on.

Thinning hair is usually fine hair, and fine hair is fragile, so I want to see it before I promise anything. Sometimes a light lift gives useful body. Sometimes the right answer is no chemistry at all.

Usually, yes: that is texture work. Your surgeon has to clear the scalp as healed first. Then I calm the new hair so it sits with the old.

Usually well; grey hair is different hair, often wirier. If you use a grey blend from the barber, some treatments can warm or lift it, and I say so first.

Top only on short hair is the quickest thing I do. Straightening↓DOWN is about one to two hours, a perm one and a half to two and a half. You get the exact time when you book.

Around two to three months on a short cut, because your haircuts take the treated hair away. There is no grow-out line.

I tell you on the day exactly when your first wash can be and what to avoid until then, because it depends on the treatment and your hair.

No. Nobody sees you from the street.

It's by appointment only. You're expected, not queuing. There may be one other client in. Men book here all the time.

Use the online consultation: a questionnaire and six photos, and I reply within 72 hours, usually the same day. Anyone who promises a result from one photo is guessing, me included.

No. The online and in-person consultations are separate. Every treatment already includes a proper look at your hair in the chair on the day.